My trip to the Florida Panhandle has been exciting and as fulfilling as a raw oyster is to the locals. Panama City Beach is a beautiful locale with fine white sand and an accommodating populace. In regards to the culture and overall friendliness of the people I can say that their reputation has been far over-exaggerated. Of the them I can say this, they were welcoming and as helpful as any vacationer could desire. All my time spent in the north taught me that tension is normal and expected, but I found none of that here. The getaway has been an eye-opener.
Save the Floridians
As gentle as the manatee the natives have been falling prey to predatory and invasive species from the north. Just near Alabama my vacation spot is in danger of being overrun by a red tide of Alabama fans, and I say this must stop. From the south comes the islanders who plan to take over with their unique cuisine and Latin flavor, but I say no more! I declare that the gentle and defenseless Floridians be classified as endangered and put on a list making them a protected group.
Building a nature preserve
For us to keep the Floridians safe we must construct a natural perserve. We could make a commune of the older, weaker residents near the area of Boca Raton and put up a gate around the aging natives. To help with the breeding of these endangereds we may bring in others to speed up the reproduction of the native population and should even introduce methamphetamines to facilitate the process. A strong population of Floridians is essential for the continued growth and success of a once ailing region.
It really is nice weather
For all of the jest that Florida receives it does deserve an award for having spectacular weather. January through December is tolerable despite occasional rain. The temperature stays warm and the humidity is not as bad as a Rainforest but worse than Arizona, but who wants to vacation in Arizona? The ocean temperature at the beach I attended was moderate and warm enough for a comfortable swim. Try going into a Great Lake any time of the year. It’s not something the Loch Ness monster would fancy to do. All in all Florida, so far, has been one the best trips of my life. If not the very best. Salune!