The author of this heartfelt letter wrote it not with the intention of her children reading it, but because she simply had to express these feelings that she could no longer contain. Mothers of divorce go through many things that won’t be understood by those on the outside looking in. If you’re a single mom or know one, you know that there is a void created in the lives of those that have been left behind or deal with an absent father. Tears cried by the children that miss their dad can’t necessarily be wiped away that easily by a mother that is trying her best to take care of her children alone. Shout out to all those single moms out there. It does get better, especially if the children have a mother like this one.
To My two Children:
My sweet babies, I want to start off by saying that I love you with all my heart. You won’t read or understand any of this for a while or maybe you’ll never see this, but I have to get this off my chest. I am sorry we failed. I will forever feel guilty that your dad and I broke your home and world apart. However, I know it’s ultimately for the best. You didn’t know that I wasn’t living the life that was right for me, and now you have a mother, when before I could barely breathe. Your dad and I’s relationship was broken, empty, and painful. I learned so much from the ending of our marriage. I know that sometimes you feel sad. It’s been a year since your daddy left. He didn’t leave you, he left me… and in turn, he maybe didn’t realize that he left you two behind. And I am so sorry! When you cry for him, cry yourself to sleep, hear a Kenny Chesney song that makes you remember him, see a picture of him and even out of the blue, think of him. I don’t want you to be angry or sad about what happened, I know you miss him. I suffer every day knowing that I will never be able to “fix this”. I will never be able to fill that hole in your hearts. I could never and would never want to replace his role in your lives. But know in time, it will get easier, or so they say. I can’t promise you that he’ll call more often, or spend adequate time with you. That is completely out of our hands. I know your daddy loves you. I remember the love in his eyes when he first held you, sang to you, changed you, he was proud. I know your daddy is hurting inside. Maybe that’s why he’s staying away. There are so many answers that I don’t have. If I could take your pain away, this emptiness you feel, I wouldn’t hesitate for one single second. I get stronger every day, but it’s only preparation for the days to come. It’s not going to be easy, but I’m making this promise to you both. I promise to always try to be a better me. I promise to always kiss you goodnight, and I promise to be with you every step you take through life. When you get too old for Moosies and Smoochies, and don’t need me like you do now, know I will be there. I can’t fix the things that have happened, but I can promise you that I will love, respect, and support you until I take my last breath.
With all my Heart,
There is so much love in this broken family, but it’s easy to overlook in the wake of unfortunate situations like divorce, or even the death of a parent. When a child grows up without one of their parents or even both, something inside them is missing. The little pieces of their puzzle are missing, and many have not had a father around them for many years if at all. But the love of a mother like this one is so immense that it eventually fills the gaps and completes them. With every good night kiss, each verse of a lullaby, or the unwavering presence that says “I will always be there”, a mother makes the child’s life as happy and fulfilling as it would have been with another parent at their side.